Nothing knits man to man like the frequent passage from hand to hand of cash.
-Walter Richard Sickert
Welcome to the internet. Please enjoy your stay and remember that no one cares what you find offensive.
Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it.
Why does dad leave whenever Santa comes by?
Because he fucks your sister behind your back while you are washing your hands after wanking under the Chrismas tree on the golden age.
If it is the case that when all you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail, then what does it mean when the only utensils left are knives?
If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it.
-George Bernard Shaw
Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
-Christopher Isherwood
It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.
regarding the cross, only the vatican and the queen know the answer... and neither one is telling.
Nothing changes more constantly than the past; for the past that influences our lives does not consist of what happened, but of what men believe happened.
-Gerald W. Johnston
Discordians do it with... oh my god! where did all these bugs come from?!?! They're coming out of my skin, holy shit! How can you think about sex at a time like this?
your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to destroy your imprints!! this tape will self-destruct in 23 seconds!!!
Liberty was that thing you lost while you were scratchin' your balls on the couch and watching the latest "America's Got Talent!" episode.
what if jesus has come back numerous times and we just keep throwing him in insane asylums?
5247 Live Kwotes, 741 Deleted Kwotes
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